The Pen I Have Chosen

I was called from my slumber by You
To tell me of a responsibility
But confusion, doubt and fear
Took a tight hold of me.
I woke up surprised that tears had lingered in my eyes,
And weeping I felt my dreams were crushed
Why do I have to be torn in two-
To chase my dreams and to follow You?
What are these tears for-
Maybe for the remorse and shame of failing You
Or perhaps I mourn for the death of those things that matter to me.

Come, enlighten me with your undefeated Wisdom
That I may tread the road others had not taken,
But that solitary road may be blessed by You
And at the end of it wishes do come true.

Come, make me whole again
Attach the fragments of my being together
That I may not suffer to walk this earth
With shattered soul and bleeding heart.

If to pen this verse is not right, why do I feel otherwise?
This is the very element of the only passion that makes me complete-
The only passion I had ventured to give my life up to,
The only passion that makes me feel closer to You.

And now I know what fuels me to pursue Inspiration, knowledge and history-
It is for this mere passion I wish to see the world,
It is all for this passion, the only thing keeping me alive.
If it is something that injures Your approval,
Forgive me for being so disdainful and unworthy,
For me You have all right to shut the gates of Heaven
But please do not rob me of my pen.